Ok so honestly, marriage and kids have been on my mind sooo much of late. (see the last post and watch the movie Hook) and In the last year i’ve come to a really strange conclusion.
I don’t care who I marry because i feel like I can learn to love most people, I’m attracted to most people because i believe everyone is beautiful, and if we are going to get old anyway, who really cares what we look like? Its all going to end up wrinkly. And even if we find the ‘perfect’ match, they are still going to smell sometimes, and we will still hate each other sometimes because I am occasionally the worst person ever and i have incredibly annoying tendencies. But i feel like thats the fun part of marriage. Smoothing each other out. Making each other funner to be around.
And its funny how, the statement ‘well if only such and such was a woman, we could get married’ gets thrown around. Because although i think women are completely insane, and make NO sense a lot of the time. I feel like that is part of the smoothing process, figuring out how to be one even when the other makes you want to puke with their priorities. Because our triune God, put himself in both genders. He made it so that when we become one in sex and in life, its the closest echo we get to seeing the trinity community up close. Its the safe place we get to be completely vulnerable with each other, knowing the other loves us unconditionally.
The problem with James becoming a woman is…. he’s not one. And even if he got all the bits and pieces right, he still wouldn’t be a woman. And i feel like the reason the idea that marrying a man as a woman is even thought about, is because it would be easy. Marrying a dude would be sooo easy. We wouldn’t talk, if we got angry we would punch each other out, we would watch the same movies, and raise our kids the same way.
But easy isn’t good. Easy isn’t great. and easy doesn’t get us as much revelation of the trinity.
So then the other thought that has been crossing my mind of late is, why can’t i just get arranged married. That would be fine, it would get rid of the mystery, the possible heart ache, the possible embarrassment of asking a woman who has no interest in me. I’ve heard the stories, i’ve had my heart destroyed, i hate cheesiness. So how can i do the least risky and cheeseless romance story?
But once again, riskless is easy. Cheeseless is comfortable. and from what i’ve learned about chicks is – they want to be pursued. They want a knight on horse back, they like flowers (that die) and scavenger hunts (that never work out) And its not easy. Its not like fixing a car. Its not like playing call of duty, its out of my experience. Its out of my comfort bubble to an extent.
Also, trying to put two people together as one is psycho almost. Preference, comforts, love languages, history, hurt, family. Thats ridiculous. So it can’t be based in fruity la las.
ITS ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT. ITS ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT. ITS ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT. ITS ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT. ITS ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT. ITS ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT. ITS ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT. ITS ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT. ITS ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT. So…..
1. i need to shut the hell up about marrying James. It shouldn’t happen.
2. If its easy… its not teaching you much.
3. I want to be a trinity dweller. In my marriage and kids and community. So i need to start thinking that now.
4. etc etc blah blah. you get the point.
Support awesome marriages. Do marriage awesome.