The wrong kind of naked.

I just randomly read this on a news site in praise of a new contraceptive pill for men.

“The social impact of effective contraception was huge, separating sexuality from reproduction. The Pill – oral contraception for women first introduced in 1960 – promised women almost unlimited freedom from worry about pregnancy because, for the first time, they could control their fertility. This “sexual revolution” lead to more relaxed attitudes about sex outside of marriage and had a significant effect on women’s ability to plan their families and careers. Among American women who use contraceptives today, the largest proportions use the Pill – 28 percent – according to the Guttmacher Institute.”

Yay!! More science that doesn’t empower children, but instead empowers adult prideful ignorance.

What happens when attitudes relax about sex outside of marriage? – Divorce rate sky rockets, porn is produced in ridiculous amounts, rape rises, abortion rises, loneliness, heart brokenness, jealousy explodes.

I’m not anti contraceptives. Not at all. I understand the beauty of having loads of sex with your wife without having children a whole bunch. and i also understand that getting guys more fully into the mindspace of contraceptives and being responsible. But because we have let down our sons in the sexual education game – the only consequence i can see to saying to men

“Hey guys, you know how you have heaps of money but you hate putting on condoms in the midst of being really horny? and you know how you love having sex with randoms a whole bunch without any responsibility? Well here you go, this way you can think even less when your drunk. YAAAAAAAY.”

Is more broken people.

Some scientists are friggen retarded.

But at the same time, after reading a comment from one of my friends, maybe these pills could be an amazingly grand tool for the poor. As long as the poor could get their hands on them.

Now, some other responses to this post have questioned my attitude toward sex outside of marriage. and i’d like to point to the utopian ideal that this whole blog points towards.

As far as I knew, through watching, experiencing, reading research and coming to conclusions, society seems to work at its most solid, when its foundations are found in committed, loving, secure, families. These utopian family units consists of a man and a woman, unified in servant hearted love and passionate sex and children that are loved and provided for and educated in such a way that they know who they are and why they are enough to go and create similar solid family units with other people.

When sex becomes the actual end of relationship – as opposed to it being some sweet icing on the cake of life, then we invent ways to have more of it. Starting with multiple partners. With multiple partners we apparently have more sex, right? But what happens to the security between the two committed individuals when you add other people? Historically, humans are heavily effected by comparative thinking

“She’s better then me, he’s stronger, they are prettier, richer, softer, firmer etc etc”

It sets up a whole range of battles between humans that ends, a lot of the time, in devaluing some and super-valuing others, based on a scale determined on nothing solid, usually a combination of our own experiences, both hurt and pleasure.

So having more sex, with more people. Bringing in more comparison, less security, less trust, and ultimately i would imagine, less great sex.

Bring children into that kind of environment. What usually happens with children growing up in single parent households, when their parents are trying to have sex with as many people as they want – with all the afore mentioned things flying around?

Do insecure, distrusting parents usually train security and trust into their children?
They can. But usually the children pick up on their parents character traits and take them on themselves in varying degrees. So where does that get us in the solid, committed, secure utopian family that a great society would be based on?


One little step – the super charged worship of the orgasm, ends very quickly in cracks in the family framework.

Add some of the extents of our obsession with sex – rape, molestation, even murder? and it gets worse and worse.

But for some reason we don’t see the bad in uncommittment until someone dies or is raped…

Weird huh?

So back to the contraception drug for males. Do i disagree with contraceptives? No. Defs not. Do i agree that sometimes two people want to have sex without having babies. Heck yes i do.

But what do we think the consequences of that are for families and for society at large?

and let me just say that i am not a scientist, or a degree holder, so i want different perspectives that i am missing. But that said i have been working on and off since i was nineteen with children from broken and non broken homes. and i would love to know why we keep going down the broken home track.



No islands just a world <- next post



6 thoughts on “The wrong kind of naked.

  1. I approve of women having more control.

    I am not sure that men will take it up as much as women have, and I am not sure if I was a woman that I would trust a male stranger saying: I am on the pill.

    I would hope the male contraceptive would give wives and girlfriends some respite from the hormonal chaos which the pill creates. I wonder what the side effects of it are for men. Hopefully it leads to less facial hair.

  2. “One little step – the super charged worship of the orgasm, ends very quickly in cracks in the family framework”

    I agree wholeheartedly. We need to worship the orgasm less and focus on relationships more. Worshiping the orgasm is like playing the lottery. You spend money to try and get a lump sum of money — we try to win big! So week after week, you’re shelling out your hard-earned money just to scratch off a ticket or hear someone call your lucky numbers and then you will finally win big! You will finally get that million dollars you always dreamed of. Instead, you spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars over your lifetime and the likelihood you will actually win big is slim to none, but you keep trying. However, there are men and women who work hard at their jobs, go to work, and work overtime if they need to. Those people end up with the money that they need (and even money that they want) eventually. They don’t get it all in one lump sum, they have it spread out over time.

    Having sex with friends, acquaintances, and even strangers is playing the lottery. You want the instant payout, but instead you just keep spending your money with little to no return. In marriage, however, you work at it and you get return more than you could have thought. Not just emotionally, but sexually. Media has portrayed married sex to be non-existant, however, so unmarried people fear that. They fear losing out on sexual feel-goods once they say “I do”. So they (spurred by media hype and the ease at which they can have sex with whomever they want), sleep with as many people as they can before deciding to “settle down”. By that time, though, they are emotionally broke from giving little bits of themselves away to those they were with, that it’s difficult for them to settle. We are left with broken single people, children without parents, broken homes and sad lives.

    Thank you again for this post.

  3. not to mention pregnancy is only one part….what about STD’s,HIV, Hepatits etc…..the pill won’t stop any of that. People just forget how unhealthy sex outside of marriiage really is.

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