Tenderness that destroys civilisation.

The human heart is such a complex mystery. We can harden them, break them, turn them, mould them, soften them and protect them. We can also do a combination. We can harden our hearts and leave tender spots, that, in comparison to the hardened mass become like a button. A melt down button. An explode button.

For example, a boy goes to school and is often bullied into doing things he doesn’t want to do and is convinced he is worth nothing, but then justice rises in his heart and grows a deep stubborn conviction to not let anyone push him around again. Its so deeply planted in his heart, that 20 years later he punches out his own boss because his employer unknowingly pushed a button.

And we all have these unique buttons. I have buttons highly connected to arguments, because of some of the environments i was raised in. I have buttons to do with bullying, and certain names that I was called. I have known people whose buttons were physical. Touching ears, slapping backs, rubbing hair – they are all connected to bad experiences and they set something off inside of us, that is sometimes, almost, out of our control.

I think these tender spots are also connected to our penchant for addictions and when and where we run to them. How often is our reaction to heart break, discomfort, disappointment, stress to get blind drunk, or play 7 hours straight of a computer game, or smoke more, or flood ourselves with something… anything. We are creatures of habit, and when our tender spots and lightly brushed, or violently punched, we react in the same way and then afterwards wonder why we reacted like that because it largely improved the situation zero percent.

Tender spots start world wars. Tender spots offend us. Tender spots, to an extent, control us. Evil exists in our world, as an outside source. But we are also purveyors of evil, through our depravity, but also our vengeance, our reactions, our instinctive tender spot defence mechanisms. As we react to our defence mechanisms, almost like the doctors reflex testing and your knee jerking, we kick each other – right in the tender spots, and like dominos, whole communities are destroyed through offended tender spot reactions.

So, why do we not just stop reacting? Why don’t we become less offended? Do we even know that we have tender spots? When was the last time we sat down and figured out what offends us, and why? When did we last get healing from deep seated hurt and offence?

A lot of us think if we numb ourselves, if we push the hurt deeper so we don’t have to deal with it, that we will somehow be fixed. But as we push it deeper, like any infection, it festers, and gets deeply rooted in our flesh, the flesh of our heart, the flesh of our emotions. And even if its numbed. Even if its forgotten, the tender spot – like a festering wound, when even brushed, send HUGE PAINFUL explosions, that rock our whole world. We see red. And we instinctively want comfort, we need comfort, we have been designed for comfort and we try to get it any where we can.

So how do we deal with that?


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