Two nights ago I had the privilege of seeing one of my favourite bands live for the first time after 5 years of missing them. There was a moment during it where I stared at the crowd and realised, they are listening to this band for different reasons to me. The music that they are listening to, is connected to different life experiences to me.
In 2010/11 i went through an enormous heart break. In reality it probably wasn’t that big, but for me, a man who had never felt heart break, it was the worst thing in the world. It physically hurt, it dragged my life to a grinding halt. I would sometimes sit on my couch for two hours a day paralysed, in the midst of a busy schedule. The sound track to that season was La Dispute’s second album. The lead singer was oddly narrating my life. Clarifying what was happening before my eyes. I blogged his lyrics, I quoted them in letters, i flooded my heart ears with the sentiments that echoed and mirrored the ripping and tearing of my internal blood pump.
The band will forever be in my top ten list, not only because they create incredible music, but because they are a part of my life. In fact, before this show, i had missed them each time they have come to AUstralia for the last 5 years. I have flown out of the country on the night for the last two times they have played Sydney, i fell asleep before their first show in Canberra, i was in Sydney the second time they played Canberra…. They are strangely intermingled into my life’s story.
But not everyone in that room has this story. Some in that room probably knew even less lyrics then i do, and were fascinated by their dancing, or had been scooped up in their communal outlooks and felt belonging there.
Communal, shared experience make life better. Like a soup, or an inter cultural discussion. We come to conclusions differently, because our background and our experiences are different. And that is a great thing.
Life would get a lot better, if I was better at discussions that I don’t agree with, but want to get more out of.
Yesterday a friend of mine said – more then 90% of communication is made without any ill intent. We communicate from our truth, as a truth, to other people, as a blessing. But if our truths are different, it can come across as being ill intent.
E.G a dialogue between two people who vote ideologically opposite. The conservative says something about religion or money, and the liberal attacks because they aren’t thinking about the children or the trees enough. Both are dialoguing out of a love, and a conclusion on the best way to do things, but both hear the opposite – that they are trying to destroy the world I love.
But, at the la dispute show, we agreed, out of differing life experiences, that this band is worth listening to.
What are the things that we agree on?
What are the things what we put shared worth on?
And how can our differing but shared experience empower us all to get to the the things we agree are worthy, more often.