The struggle at this stage will always be the same.
Do i trust that God is good? Do i trust he is all about my good and will i say yes to what he asks or will i keep him at a distance?
I can academically trust him. I can say yes as a mental and physical exercise. But if my heart is screaming no, i will continue to break it into pieces, dishonouring my own value and the epic distance between me and the father of intimacy will grow.
Why we put on masks and grin i will never understand. He wants intimacy more then sacrifice, he wants us to trust out of the overflow of joy and love we feel around him. And that struggle is at the centre of everything else.
Do i believe God exists? most definitely, enough to die for his cause. But do i trust he knows what hes doing? Not often. and never when its closest to home.
Our generation is plagued by distrust, uncommitment, and to some extent, apathy enough to refuse to get serious about the future.