It was one of those moments that everything I held dear came crashing down around me. In one moment it made no sense. Why I was in Sweden. Why I was living the craziest life I could imagine. Why i was wearing a collared shirt from Cambodia. Studying a book thousands of years old with a group of relative students in a large hut with a funny name. It all stopped making sense. It made more sense to go do a lot of stupid stuff then to sit there and answer a simple question. I felt dumb, I felt out of my league, I felt like i was suddenly in a strange classroom that I wasn’t supposed to be.
And all he asked was, who is Jesus?
Simple questions are the freakiest ones. You could answer that question so many ways. You could instantly make the answer super complicated, which I did, and when i went to answer it i forgot all my english words and sounded like the idiot i feared i was.
Simply, Jesus was a man. A bloke, a tradie.
But it is sometimes in those simple questions that I fail the most. I’ve spoken on the trinity and wrath and written blogs on Church and Family and international trade relations… but then the simple questions come out. Why are you a Christian? – and my brain goes blank.
I’m a christian because Jesus changed my life, because through a whole lot of experiences his love and existence has been proved almost beyond doubt.
But when asked that i try and over complicate it by explaining the beginnings of time and the reason we wear strange underpants… (thats not us) But quite simply, I’m not a christian because it makes mathematical sense. Most of the time Jesus and his followers come across as the least sane and reasonable people on the planet. I was chatting just today about how if we weren’t held together by Jesus and love for each other I would’ve shot many people. I’m not a christ either because this is the funnest clique to join. I assure you, being a rock star would be much more “fun” all round then parts of the life we are called to.
I follow christ because he saved me from death, because he comforts me in crappy times, because he has wise ideas that are better then me, because he believes in me and ultimately because he never gives up on me.
Today I learned some things.
1)My best friend Evan still really loves me, and that makes me feel super special.
2)I am not an idiot just because sometimes my brain gets confused.
3)My joy is infectious, and I need to trust in that sometimes when i do spastic things.
4)french dudes know how to pray good.
5) I can have moments of doubt because ultimately i know exactly where I came from, i know where I’m going, i just don’t always know the in between part.
2 thoughts on “I know where I’m going.”
love this. you rock.