The infamous internal dialogue: I SUCK

Not sure why all of a sudden I’m getting sports analogies but… shmeh. A continuation of You are not the problem.

So we were playing indoor hockey again and we divided into teams, and my team was incredible. So I find myself in defensive positions for awhile, and one after another, goals start raining down. They go through my legs, they are whipped around the side, they catch me the wrong way. And i start feeling like a loser, so i take myself off the field. Our team was scoring some pretty great goals, but, i had let too many in.

So then I start that infamous internal dialogue.

“This sucks, we could be winning.”

Yeh but i sucked in goal.

No… I just suck.

Well.. if they scored more goals… or helped in defense.

Its their fault. I’m not the only person on the team…

but i did play pretty rubbish, why aren’t I playing better.” etc etc.

it gets more negative, it gets more accusatory. etc etc.

But tonight i stopped myself. My offense and feeling hurt at letting goals in was affecting how i saw the game. Clouding my skill and position in the game and my expectations of team mates. It coloured reality the wrong way. Like colouring the sky brown in a colouring book.

Later in the game I scored two goals, and after one I went straight off the field and someone on the other team said “nice one”, then when i left to do homework as i left someone else said “you did really well tonight” Our perspectives can also change so quickly from reality, to a made up one. The game can seem one thing in you, whilst others see something else entirely because we focus on lies… which is pretty stupid and unproductive.

Playing team sports is awesome, because you get the competitive edge that keeps you passionate, and the encouragement and constructive criticism that can keep you sharp.

Our mouths have so much power. Our words can energize and nourish one another, or they can starve us and turn our trees the wrong colour.

Say nice things to each other.
Speak out the obvious things you see, because sometimes in our own heads we don’t see those things because we are focusing on our failures.

God created our planet with his word. The word came to earth and died on the cross for us. And your words could save someones life, or help them score more goals.


What we fear! (Next post, click here)


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