Sitting in church and i watch as a baby competes with its Dad to see who can get to the candles first. A baby gets baptised, the worship leader has cool hair, its time for communion and after getting mine offered in Norwegian and english I sat down feeling honoured by this congregation that made it possible for me to be apart of them through translation and hospitality.

Quickly after these thoughts i watched a friends son be offered the bread. in the bowl was a lot of broken up bits and then two bigger pieces at the back. Like back up or maybe it was asthetics. But my friends son looked at the little pieces and then the big pieces and grabbed the biggest piece he could find and dipped it in the juice and then walked away with a smile on his face. Happy with his piece of the body of Christ.

The kingdom of God belongs to ones like this.

He wasn’t concerned with ceremony. He wasn’t concerned with the assumptions of most of us. He wanted the most of the body that he could get.

How differently life would be if we went for as much of Christ as we could get.

Today for whatever reason, by 230pm i was exhausted and on the verge of tears after watching a movie about love. Thinking about it way later, my sadness could be blamed on tiredness. It could easily be explained away by homesickness, or hopes unseen, or it could be that i have gotten too comfortable with the little broken pieces of Jesus i get handed to me once a month. So numbed by the greatness and big ceremony of God, that I don’t know that I am allowed to childishly grab Jesus the man, not just Jesus the well-intentioned rules.

I don’t like feeling like this because its like being out of control but for not joyous hilarity reasons.

But i like feeling like this because it draws my attention to a much deeper need and desire.

Intimacy.