I turned thirty this week and I thought about what I would tell my twenty year old self, because this decade has been incredible. My twenty year old self had moved out of home into a group house called the house of love. I had gotten a job at a petrol station. I was playing as much music as possible. I started experimenting with foods and entertainment and parties and road trips. And I had some rad house mates to learn from. But now, with a decade in front of twenty year old me, I have some advice for him or others of that age that are interesting to think about. So i thought i would start my review of the last decade with ten things i would tell my twenty year old self!!
1. You don’t have to be the victim.
if you put yourself in the place of the victim, it is sometimes hard to fight out of situations. You become tense and irritable and “woe is me”. The things that happened to you in the 10-20 years have happened, and there were things you did and things done to you that are past, so you need to figure out how to deal with them, process them and get rid of them so you aren’t held back. get freedom, get resolution and then win. But don’t let the past destroy your present.
2. Bitterness won’t get you anything but heartburn and cheap laughter.
Don’t hold on to trophies that are not trophies at all. Don’t celebrate being bitter. Yes sarcasm can be hilarious. Yes you can get cheap laughs by teasing those who have treated you unwell, but they are purely cheap laughs and you are way better than that. You are physically affected by your bitterness so let it go (cue frozen music). Because when you get rid of your bitterness you will be SOOO free to do things you never dreamed of doing. On a similar note, watch how your sarcasm makes people feel. If it hurts people, you should probably cut itout completely.
3. Be good to your parents.
If you don’t understand why, carry a baby around for 2 hours, then imagine doing it for 4 years, then imagine cleaning your butt for three years and listen to your screaming 20 years. then remember how many times you almost died. Yeah… they loved you deeply through all that. and still do. They deserve all the medals in all the world. They don’t just deserve you over for dinner every week either, they deserve your encouragement and your stories. Take more people over to their house to meet them. People love your parents, and your parents are good for other people too. There is sooo much power in your words towards your parents and in representation of your parents, and you were blessed with two of the best.
4. Doing things in moderation and in longevity is wise.
I.E if its not good for your body to eat mi gorang and red bull.. maybe find something else to live off of. Don’t eat too many lollies just because they taste good, they aren’t good for you at all. Eat more salad. Eat more natural foods. Get used to exercising regularly. It’s actually quite fun. Spend large amounts of time away from screens. Drink more water. Don’t drink cheap beers just because. Play games WITH people and to learn strategy and how to think, Don’t do anything mindlessly under the guise of “resting”. Actually rest. Steward your brain. Avoid addictions to lifeless and destructive things. Also, play real guitar instead of guitar hero. You’ll get to play more of the music from your internal monologue that way.
5. Journal. It gets your thoughts out so that you can see them.
Circle thinking isn’t so great for growing. Writing often gets you into the habit of sorting through your thoughts but also seeing what you are learning. It is sometimes surprising. It is also a way you rest. (start getting up at 6am. you don’t need so much sleep)
6. Live with people. it’s irritating and you learn so much. (yeop)
7. travel and try understanding cultures.
Similar to point 6. Although Australia is great and beautiful it is also really really stupid. Other cultures have been doing certain things better than Australia for centuries. By travelling and learning you will become a different person with the ability to think through certain things more smoothly. You will get to enjoy more foods, more language nuance, more friends and more of histories grand story.
8. risk everything. you have no children.
It’s different when you marry and have children, but whilst you don’t, RISK EVERYTHING. know that sleeping on floors is totally ok and can be a part of a grand adventure. Know that not eating for a day won’t kill you, that not having a job opens up new possibilities. That hitch hiking gets you new friends and lets you see different parts of your home country. Safety is nice and all, but risking is even nicer. (also don’t fear anything. Fear is stupid)
9. Never gossip. tell people to their faces.
Value people enough to speak hard things, nicely to their faces. And yes, it will be really hard sometimes to tell people hard things, but strong relationships, strong societies are build solidly on honesty. And im not talking about being a jerk like “hey you… your fat” I mean, selflessly communicating life giving wisdom for the betterment of the relationship. Instead of telling everyone in the room that someone is fat. Talking to that person directly and asking some questions.
10. read super widely.
This one i have done, but after talking with my sister the other day i could have done this one way better. Read different genres, different writers, different cultures, different genders. It helps your imagination, it helps your language, it helps with the friends you can make and what you talk about with those friends.
I think ill write more about turning 30. But. these are things ive learned in this decade.