breathing.

You take one breath. But that’s not enough. To stay alive you need to take another breath. and another, and another, until the repetitive in and out either makes you feel insane or you forget about it. It becomes second nature. You get thirsty, you drink. You get hungry, you eat. You get tired, you sleep. You get dirty, you clean. You become cold, you get a jacket, or warm and you take off as much clothing you can. Then you get lonely. So you find a friend. You get creative, so you make something. You crave intimacy and decide to create something through intimacy. Then you feel the wind on your face and wonder where it comes from. So you make up stories. The stories become very elaborate for some, and simple for others. But the theme through all of this is breath.

Keep breathing. Stay alive. Stay on your feet.

Why are we so addicted to our lives? Even when our lives are terrible. Even when oppressed, or broken, or depressed, or hopeless. We still cling you our lives. The simple breath in, breath out. And some of us can go years with no reason for being alive, but we still stick to it.

And I’m not advocating death. Quite the opposite. I love life. I love being able to laugh and dance and create. What I don’t understand is those of us who have no reason to be here. I spoke to a Finnish kid yesterday and his dreams are simply ‘get money… and then get more money’. I’m not stranger to this concept, but my money grabbing has always been so I can play louder music, or take better photos, or drive a car that doesn’t leak toxic substances.

Why we pay taxes, or endure the hardship of community living, or go to jobs if we don’t get something at the end that is worth all the stress and hard work?

Do we even know what we want? Do we even understand what is possible?

I’m slowly learning both.

 

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